By evening of day two she caught on. She cooked chicken and added it to Royal Canin dry food. Now we’re talking. I ate the whole thing. Just in case she took me for a chicken and dry food guy I let her know I expected variety. A few days later, with my Germanic nose I overturned the bowl with chicken.
My human is smart – she raced to the supermarket to buy me meat. Not only that -she cut the meat into thin slices so I didn’t have to waste energy chewing. But wait – she did try to lay the guilt on me. “I’ve been a vegetarian since birth – look here – you know how totally nauseating it is for me… to handle dead carcasses.”
I looked at her - my soulful eyes filled with gratitude. But I was thinking “I’ve been a carnivore since birth – you expect me to eat a bowl full of leaves with quinoa? Get real lady!”
I sleep on a large K9 orthopedic bed and my toy collection is growing. I had a good laugh when she tried to train me to sit and heel. Did it as long as treats kept coming. We went for a walk and she said “sit to heel…” Total amnesia – didn’t see any treats so I neither sat nor heeled. Every now and then I have to remind my human she can’t always get her way. Caramba!
I was constantly hit on my head and yanked by my collar before Mighty Mutts folks saved me. To this day I’m kind of weary when anyone touches my neck or face -- exception being my human. I trust her so she’s allowed to “pet” me. On second thought that may have been a mistake. Every chance she gets, she squeezes my snout and says things like “Oh so luuuve – so cuuute.” I mean it’s kind of embarrassing – what if other K9 saw this public display of affection. Scheisse!
A few days ago she said “What? You stalking me?” I communicated with her through telepathy. “No not stalking. You’ve given me a forever home and in 3 short weeks I know how much you love me. (However, a few more treats would make it even better). I follow you all over the house –to make sure you’ll never abandon me.”
Last week she took me to a dog park. Inside the enclosed fence who do I see – a genetically modified sumo wrestler. Took a closer look and it was a 300 lb Cane Corso sitting Panzer like getting ready for a blitzkrieg. My human asks “Is he friendly?” I put my nose to the ground and pretended I was an explosive detector dog. As Cane Corso Sumo Panzer is leaving once again human asks “Can I pet him?” Is she crazy – what if he eats her hand…who is going to feed me.
By the way – to you folks out there who wonder if dogs can talk – here’s reality. We can talk but we’re not about to let you humans know that. Shrinks will sue us. As it is we are privy to all your woes but you’ll extend it further. We’ll become your lost and found consultant. My human does it already. She goes around and says “Kalsang – seen my glasses anywhere? Kalsang – where is my iphone?”
We K9 suspect you’ll also expect feedback for your speeches, presentations, interviews, how you’ll confront your boss, your in laws etc. etc. And when will we ever find time to dream?”
I’m going to take a sunbath – see you around. Pssst – if you’d like to make a donation – Mighty Mutts is on Facebook."